


Summer Nights Ending

by ZWorld



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Beaches, Bittersweet, Bonfires, First Kiss, Fluff, Love Confessions, M/M, Mentions of underage drinking, Mutual Pining, Pining, Summer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-18
Updated: 2020-07-18
Packaged: 2021-03-05 11:33:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,796
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25350055
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZWorld/pseuds/ZWorld
Summary: After crushing on Jean Kirstein for years, Armin Arlert makes the best of their last summer night together to confess his true feelings for his friend.
Relationships: Armin Arlert/Jean Kirstein, Mentions of Eren Yeager/Jean Kirstein, Mentions of Mikasa Ackerman/ Annie Leonheart, Mentions of Mikasa Ackerman/Jean Kistein, Mentions of Ymir/Krista Lenz | Historia Reiss
Comments: 1
Kudos: 34





	Summer Nights Ending

**Author's Note:**

> Published for JearminWeek2020, Day 4, Love Confessions.
> 
> My first publicly shared Jearmin fic! I'm both so excited and nervous! Jearmin means so, so much to me. Jean and Armin are both my most favourite characters! I hope I did this ship justice!
> 
> It was originally written for JearminWeek2019, but I failed to finish it in time due to work being so busy! Luckily I managed to finish it for this year's week!! I was so happy to have a prompt that suited it! :D
> 
> Please enjoy!

A breeze blew over them, stirring the smell of crackling firewood and faded sunblock. The air felt thick with sea salt, adding to their already sticky skin from a day's worth of swimming. Armin wiggled his toes; dried up sand rubbing roughly between them. Damp blonde hair flowed easily in the gentle wind, guiding bright blue eyes to look out to the vast sea to their left. He sighed, watching the sun slowly setting, filling the sky around them with orange and purple hues. 

“God, I can’t believe it’s officially the last day of summer,” Eren grumbled, sitting down next to Armin on the wooden log. Armin turned back to face his childhood friend, his lips opening, ready to reply. 

“Yeah, lame as fuck if you ask me,” Connie replied instead from across the fire pit. “Our last summer of freedom and it went as fast as Sasha can chow down a Big Mac.”

“Hey now!” the brown haired girl protested. “Not that fast.” 

“More like as fast as she can down a steak at Denny’s,” Jean offered. 

“Hmm,” she hummed, rubbing her chin. “Maybe a little slower. How about a steak _and_ an oreo shake?” she gasped then, sitting up straighter. “And maybe a banana split! Could use one of those at the moment. I’ve been craving a ban-”

“Sash, you’re _always_ craving for something,” Connie interrupted, making everyone laugh boisterously. 

Armin’s laughter died down eventually to a quiet chuckle; his belly filled with happiness and his heart giddy for the love he felt for all of his friends. He was going to miss this. The feeling of freedom and joy, and no responsibilities. He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his sunburnt thighs as he raked blue eyes over their current situation. 

Eren and Mikasa, his two childhood friends, sat beside him on a wooden log. Across from them was a fire pit they had started just an hour ago. The goal was to cook frankfurters and have them on bread rolls, but considering they were all starved from a full day of swimming and only having mostly bought snacks, it’d be a wonder if they’d be eaten as hot dogs as they would be as sausages on a stick. 

To the left of the fire pit sat Sasha, Christa, and Ymir. The latter two were already up close and personal with each other. Ymir had her arm wrapped around her small blonde girlfriend’s shoulders, allowing them to cuddle. To the right sat Annie and two older friends, Reiner and Bert. They hadn’t seen much of those two until summer came around as they were a year older and already in college. Lastly, from right across them and beyond the fire pit sat Connie, Marco, and Jean. 

It was their last summer as high schoolers. The following week would see them being shipped off to all their respective colleges in different parts of both the city and country. Armin being one of them to be moving far away. _Too far_. 

After spending years of studying vigorously at school, he was proudly given a scholarship to one of the top colleges in the country in his preferred choice of field. He was grateful to have been given a full free ride, yet that didn’t stop the heartache or fear of leaving behind everyone and everything he’d ever known.

It was a shame, really. It was almost like they had the best summer ever imaginable. They spent endless days at the beach and staying the night at each friend’s place, playing video games and watching movies until the early hours of the morning. Swimming for hours was usually involved at the one’s houses who were lucky enough to have a pool. Evenings were filled with BBQs and movies, and once, they even went camping at the local caravan park along the beach. They enjoyed each other's company, cherishing their friendships and not thinking of the responsibilities that waited for them at the end of it. Armin began to feel a little more bittersweet as time progressed and perhaps a little more attached than he would have been otherwise to all his friends. 

And especially attached to _one_ person in particular. 

Armin blinked to clear his vision, pulling himself from his thoughts. Without realising it, he had been staring at Jean as he mused over their summer memories. Jean must have noticed as his lips twitched slightly, a crooked smile forming. His face looked a little red, probably from the sunburn, and his hair was a little messed up with it sticking out each way. Armin snorted, biting his bottom lip and looked down to the fire. A blush covered his cheeks and no doubt his chest at the thought of being caught. Who could blame him? It was hard not to stare. Jean was a handsome guy, after all.

It was around three years ago when Armin first realised it. The sound of his heart beating in his ears and the tightening of his chest at the sight of his friend, Jean. The giddy butterflies that would flutter in his stomach seemed to overwhelm him whenever they sat next to each other, as did the anxious nerves he felt when he would walk to school knowing that Jean was already in the classroom. It had become a big part of his teenage years and an annoying but endearing distraction that ate away at his concentration on his studies.

It came as a shock at the beginning. Out of everyone Armin had been friends with, how could he have fallen for the snarky one that always rivalled Eren? They always fought and acted like everything was a competition. It often grew on Armin’s nerves, which made the entire realisation of his feelings that much stranger. At first, when Armin and Jean met at the beginning of high school, Jean had been just as snarky and distant with him. Although, as the years passed, Jean became kinder and more often than not, stood up for Armin whenever bullies showed their claws. They had quite a few classes together in their last two final years of school, forcing them to spend hours doing pair projects and studying together at each other’s houses or in the library. That’s probably what set it off, Armin had assumed. 

It started an endless cycle of pining for someone who was _just_ out of reach. Jean always liked girls. He was very open about it by often flirting and embarrassing himself. Armin was so sure that he’d never stand a chance until a year and a half ago when he found out Jean and Eren made out in a closet at a party. It had hurt at the time, knowing what his childhood friend had unknowingly taken from him. But, the boys were back to their usual bickering a month later, blaming the fact that they were drunk and desperate for their make out session, and that settled the hurt into hope. 

The memories almost felt nostalgic now. 

The constant blushing when Armin first realised his crush on Jean. The feeling of yearning whenever they did school projects together as they sat on the floor, knees touching and papers splayed out in front of them; his heart begging Armin to just reach over and close their distance further. His beating heart whenever Jean got closer than normal at school, feeling the heat radiate off him when they sat next to each other in class or at the lunch table. They’d get so close that Armin grew addicted to how good Jean always smelled. 

Then there were the looks Armin sometimes sneaked in the changing rooms the one year they had PE class together. Those nights he’d be up late, touching himself in places he rarely took care of. 

Armin almost felt lucky to have watched his crush grow into the young adult he was now. Once lanky, outspoken, and far too honest for his own good; now tall and filled out with muscles from the sports he played. Jean was much kinder, caring, thoughtful, and charismatic now too. Also a leader, should being captain of the soccer team be any indication. 

It all made Armin fall harder and deeper into the pit. 

A pit that he knew he had to constantly try and climb his way out of. For many reasons, of course. For one, Jean would never like him back in that kind of way. Armin was so sure Jean only - and would only ever - thought of him as a friend. Another, and the most important of all; their dreams and goals did not align. Armin always knew what he wanted and did his best to achieve it. It led him to a scholarship miles away from home. Jean on the other hand drifted between what was set out for him and what he really wanted. His dream was to enter the police force, but he was destined to be next in line to run his family restaurant. It had initially been the kind of thing that Jean teased Armin about when they first met, but as they grew older, Armin could tell Jean had just been jealous over his freedom in choice of study and future. It made all the more sense for Armin to get over the silly crush he held for years. However, as strong as his willpower had been, his heart still craved. 

It craved so much that his one childhood friend, Mikasa, strongly urged him to at least _try_. She had always been a victim to Jean’s flirting until the previous summer vacation when she and Annie spontaneously announced they were - and had been for a while - in a relationship. It was no secret to Armin as Mikasa had confided in him many times about it, but certainly a surprise for everyone else. She had pointed out that at the time, she had no idea whether Annie reciprocated her feelings or not as Annie often wore a mask that no one could see through. 

So, Armin stayed in the pit in hopes of confessing at least _once_ this summer. It was sort of meant to be something of a last hurrah. If things turned out awkward and if Jean truly didn’t reciprocate his feelings, then it’d be okay; Armin would leave once summer came to an end and things would eventually go back to normal. Plus, being far away meant that Armin would finally get the proper chance to get over his long standing crush. He didn’t bother to mull over the idea of Jean admitting the same feelings, so he didn’t think to plan further in that stream of things, after all, the chances were highly unlikely. 

Try as he might though, Armin kept pushing back his confession. There had been many opportunities when he could have said it. There were days where they walked alone together by the beachfront with ice creams in their hands. There were the nights they sat along the edge of a pool, legs dipped in the cool water and toes bumping every now and then. There was the time they laid beside each other in their sleeping bags at the caravan park, others long asleep, as they listened to the waves from the beach and the gentle snores of their friends. Armin was up late reading a book with his torch and Jean was on his phone, playing games and keeping Armin company. 

Or perhaps, the best moment that stuck out the most was when Jean drove them home from one evening at Connie’s house. Armin was the last one to be dropped off and had been dozing in the passenger seat. His recently short cut wet hair stuck to his face with the smell of chlorine and BBQ smoke lingering on his clothes and skin. The car was filled quietly with the strum of a guitar that came from Jean’s radio, and the streetlamps flickered past his lightly closed eyelids every now and then. 

Armin had tried to push himself awake. They were alone and okay yeah, a little tired, but it had been the perfect chance to speak to Jean without any interruptions. And yet, the quiet and the sense of security kept him lulled. It made him wish for the moment to never end. He almost wanted to ask Jean to never stop driving and suggest they take a long road trip somewhere with just the two of them. Although sadly, things came to an end. Jean eventually pulled to a stop. It had been quiet except for the gentle music and a stuttering breath from the driver’s seat before a warm hand touched the blonde’s shoulder ever so gently. 

A quiet murmur of, “Ar-”

“Hey, Arm...” A different kind of voice asked distantly. 

A tap on the top of Armin’s head reeled him back to reality and far away from his memories. He blinked quickly, looking up to find Eren standing above him, face pulled into worry. 

Armin hummed, lips pulling into a smile. “Sorry, what was that?” 

“Sure got your head up in the clouds tonight, huh?” Eren remarked, waving two metal rods in each hand. 

Armin chuckled shyly, his own hand coming up to rub the short strands at the back of his head. “It’s been a long day.”

Eren snorted. “You can say that again.” Pointing one of the rods to Armin, he added, “You’re red as a tomato too. Are you sure you don’t have sun stroke or something?” 

“N-no,” Armin stuttered, holding his hands out. “I’m fine.”

Eren squinted, no doubt mulling over whether he should question further. Much to Armin’s relief, he didn’t bother. “Okay, so how many wieners do you want?” 

“Just two is fine,” Armin answered. 

“Alright, two wieners coming right up,” Eren beamed, turning around to add them to the rods and cook them over the fire before continuing his conversation with Connie and Jean across the pit.

When his frankfurters were cooked, Eren passed them to Armin on a paper plate along with two cheese rolls. Mustard and tomato sauce was shared around the group before everyone dug into their meals and canned sodas. When the food was done, next came dessert with graham crackers, marshmallows and blocks of chocolate. No fire pit on the beach could be complete without smores and sticky lips and fingers. 

The sky slowly grew darker, the only light source being the fire pit and the moon. The sea looked black, as did all of their surroundings. The air got a bit chilly, making Armin lean closer to Eren and his radiating heat. He didn’t think to bring a jacket, which seemed silly now as autumn was just around the corner. 

The boisterous laughs never stopped. Soon jokes turned into years old memories. Each person shared things they held dearly throughout their years together in high school. Some were funny and others were plain embarrassing. They were nice to relive and re-share, and also a little bittersweet. As the night progressed, Armin couldn’t help but feel heavy hearted. The reality of that night being the last time they would all be together for a long while was hitting hard. 

It was a gentle reminder that it was also the last chance he was going to get. It only hurt that much more, even if anxiety was biting at the corners. 

Armin’s eyes constantly seeked out Jean, his heart stuttering to a stop and aching a bit more each time he lingered on the handsome face. Jean didn’t seem nearly as upset. Rather, much like Connie and Sasha, he was joking around and laughing loudly. Armin assumed it was probably because they wouldn’t be leaving for an unfamiliar place.

An unfamiliar place that didn’t have Jean, his heart grieved. 

But also an unfamiliar place where he could escape to should Jean not feel the same way, his mind supplied. 

A bump to his shoulder pulled him away from staring too long again, only to find Mikasa leaning her shoulder against his. She smiled, her black eyebrows raised in amusement before mouthing, ‘tell him.’

Armin smiled back nervously, his gut suddenly stirring with anxiousness and his heart rapidly beating at the thought of it. ‘Don’t know how,’ he mouthed back. 

She bit her lip, turning to stare out to the fire in front of them for a long while. Armin left her to it and gazed back to the fire too, eyes drawing beyond it to see Jean sneak a curious glance at him and Mikasa. Not a minute later, Mikasa must have gotten an idea as she suddenly sat up straighter, forcing Armin to lean away from the movement. She inched her body closer, following him.

“Go on a walk. I’ll distract Eren,” she whispered. “Remember Armin, say it like ripping off a bandaid.” 

Before Armin could even begin to protest, she immediately stood. “Eren, I need to go to the bathroom.”

“Okay?” Eren replied slowly - dragging out the o and k - with his eyebrows furrowed. “And you had to tell me that because..?”

“I need you to come with me.”

“Why not take Annie?” he asked, clearly very confused.

“She’s busy,” Mikasa replied bluntly. Both Armin and Eren looked over to find Annie sitting on her log, phone in hand and face neutral as always. 

“No she’s not,” Eren stated. “Annie,” he called. “Your girl needs to be escorted to the toilets.”

“I’m busy,” Annie countered. Armin could barely see the ever so slight twitch of the corner of her lips. 

Eren sighed defeatedly, muttering under his breath over how stupid it all was. Mikasa could kick any kidnappers ass better than he ever could. But, he went along with her anyway. Armin watched after them, swallowing drily, and urging his heart to slow down.

Armin knew he didn’t _have_ to go on a walk. Mikasa wasn’t that forceful. She simply gave him an opening. The more he thought about it, the quicker his breathing got and the more his nerves ate away at him. The smoke became unbearable, as did the radiating heat of the fire. It made Armin stand for some fresh air. He stood with shaky legs and began walking away on the soft sand before being pulled to a stop. 

“Hey Arm!” Connie called. “Where are you going, man?” 

Armin turned his head nervously, eyes drawing to Jean first and then towards Connie. With his smile wavering and hands beginning to sweat, he answered, “I’m getting some fresh air. The fire is becoming a bit unbearable.” 

“I’ll come with,” Jean offered immediately. “It’s a bit stuffy for me too.” 

Jean stood, stretched and came up to Armin’s side. The blonde swallowed away the nervousness and continued on to walk away, leading them towards the shore. They passed over the soft sand until they reached the wet that cooled down his warm toes whenever a large wave pushed the water to lap up over their feet.

The walk was quiet at first; Armin’s mind was reeling in what to say or how to start his confession. He hadn’t had this problem since the first time he realised his crush on Jean all those years ago. Eventually he learned how to work around the tightened chest and sweaty palms. Conversation usually came naturally to them as Armin always found it easy to talk to Jean. He was a good listener like Mikasa and Annie. Or at least, he grew to become a good listener for Armin. As did Armin for Jean. Normally Jean would speak about everything and anything to him, but even the tall boy was unusually quiet at that moment. 

With a sigh, Armin enjoyed their walk alone in silence. He took in the salty smell and the feel of cool water lapping at his sunburnt feet. He looked up towards the dark sky, millions of stars filling it whichever way he looked. Even the moon had been big and bold, lighting them enough to see where they’re going. He tried not to smile too largely everytime Jean’s hand bumped against his, yet he couldn’t help but bite his bottom lip and flush a deeper shade of red whenever it did. It got so hard not to beam, he ended up looking out to the darkened water in fear of Jean seeing it. 

“Are you looking forward to Harvard?” Jean asked quietly, suddenly breaking their silence. 

Armin turned his head back to Jean, looking up towards him. It was a bit hard to see, but Armin could make out that Jean wasn’t smiling and wasn’t looking at him either. He was looking down at the ground instead.

“A little, I suppose,” Armin admitted.

“Why only a little?” Jean questioned, face turning to look down at the blonde boy. “You’ve worked hard for it, Armin.”

“I’m going to miss everyone,” Armin answered easily. It was the truth, after all. “Three hours by plane is a long way from all of you.”

“Yeah, I guess.” Jean scratched at the back of his neck with a hand. “At least there's discord and skype and, shit like that.” 

Armin smiled. “You’re right.” A beat of silence followed as he pushed himself to add more. “I’ll still miss some people in particular, of course. It’s different from when we get to see each other.” 

Jean hummed in agreement before asking, “You’ll come back for Thanksgiving and Christmas, right?”

“Yes,” Armin chuckled. “My mother would never allow me to stay away for those occasions.”

“That’s good,” Jean smiled, his eyes crinkling. “Really good,” he added quietly. 

Armin nodded before asking, “How about your own? Are you looking forward to college next week?”

“I don’t know,” Jean sighed. “It doesn’t _really_ feel like college when I’m not moving into the halls like you or some of the others,” he confessed. 

“Think of all the money you’re saving, Jean,” Armin countered, turning his body slightly towards the tall teen. “The fact that you’ll still be in the comfort of your own house and have your parents' guidance. I wouldn’t give that up easily.” 

“I guess,” Jean agreed reluctantly. “It’d be cooler to meet new people and share their spaces, you know? It’d feel more like being an adult.”

They continued on from there, falling back into their usual easy flowing conversations. Armin’s chest steadied in nervousness and began a new beat of excitement and of wanting to prove Jean wrong. Armin countered that living at home doesn’t make you any less of an adult and if Jean asked for more hours at his family’s restaurant, he’d save a lot of money. Armin went on to drill his point home by listing all the expenses that he’s already had to put into his halls. 

Armin had already met his three other dorm mates through online messaging. They had spent the better part of the past three weeks allocating who was going to bring what for their shared spaces. It had been something that Armin kept separate from his high school friends. He didn’t feel it was necessary for them to know as they all surely had their own worries of clashing timetables to think about. Eren, Mikasa, and Annie were also going to an out of city college too and none of them ever mentioned their own struggles, so Armim kept quiet about his too. 

Once Jean laughed and simply agreed, not wanting to rile up the small blonde any further, they began talking about their chosen courses and potential clubs they were interested in. Of course, Armin had every intention of joining _some_ sort of club once classes started. He mentioned lightly to Jean about his fear of not making as good friends at college as they all had been. 

Armin never had to worry about making new friends. They all had each other for four years and even prior to that, he had Eren and Mikasa. The idea of suddenly having to be social to new people was a bit unnerving to him. He’d grown so attached and so close to their small group, it seemed almost surreal to think about hanging out with a different set of people.

“You’ll have your dorm mates,” Jean reasoned. “A-and.” He swallowed, elbow bumping ever so softly against Armin’s arm. “You’re a good person, Armin. You’ll meet like-minded people easily.” 

“As for you, Jean,” Armin reassured rather quickly. “You’re uhm.” Armin struggled to find the right words without saying good looking, hot, smart, funny, dorky, cute- “You’re a g-good person too. Fantastic act-actually. Uhhm, one in a million.” He settled on, a light blush covering his cheeks with even his ears feeling heated. 

The air in his lungs felt thick and his stomach churned, thinking maybe he said a bit too much. Jean had stared at him incredulously, his own cheeks seeming a little darker. Armin looked away immediately, chewing on his bottom lip as he studied the wet sand in front of them. _Why,_ he thought. _Why did he say such a silly thing? It was so stupid_.

Jean chuckled breathily, the back of his fingertips grazing lightly against Armin’s arm. They tickled him there, the fine blonde hair standing up from the goosebumps that covered his skin. Armin shivered at the feeling, encouraging a little twitch at the corner of his lips. 

“If-if you say so,” Jean answered bashfully, bumping his upper arm against the shorter blonde’s shoulder. “I guess, sure.”

Jean lingered closely to him, never leaning back out of Armin’s personal space. His fingers continued to graze the blonde’s arm and with every light stroke, the more nervous Armin got and the faster his body started to boil. His chest felt so tight, his heart so heavy. It was hard to not start breathing faster with the anxiety picking up. 

_You should say it_ , his mind convinced. This was a good time, surely? This was possibly the literal last chance he’d be able to confess to Jean in person. It was now or never. Jean was relaxed and filling his space. He was chuckling and smiling, and enjoying the walk with Armin. 

He could do this. 

Armin knew he could. He’s done scarier things. He’s spoken in front of the entire school. He’s confessed many things before. But never- 

Armin gulped, his mouth suddenly dry. His head began to spin, his heart racing a million miles an hour and stomach churned - the fluttering butterflies racing at the speed of light, hitting the walls of his belly, making him feel sick. His breath quickened and maybe - maybe it wasn’t a good idea. 

What if, what if, what if-

No, he voiced internally. 

_Like a band-aid._

Mikasa said like a band-aid. Say it like ripping off a band-aid. 

He could do this.

“This is awful timing,” Armin mumbled quietly, lifting one hand up to rub at his other in worry. 

“Hah?” Jean inquired, looking down at Armin in confusion, his eyebrows furrowed. “What is?”

Swallowing dryly, Armin admitted. “I, uh. I have a confession to make of sorts.” 

“Y-you do?” Jean questioned, sounding a little unsure. 

Armin felt his stare but refused to meet it. He didn’t want to think about what kind of expression he was wearing and didn’t want Jean to notice it. If anything, Armin guessed he probably looked like he was on the brink of tears from how anxious he was. That definitely would look uncool if Jean saw it.

“Yeah…”

Jean huffed, a breathy chuckle following after. Armin sneaked a glance at the corner of his eye to see Jean scratch at the back of his head, bending a little forward and lining up his bent elbow enough to hide his face from Armin. 

“Shit,” Jean muttered. “Th-that’s really fuck-. That’s kinda’ funny,” Jean stuttered, voice a little uneven. “I sorta, um. I sorta have one too,” he continued quietly. Armin could barely hear him over the sound of the waves. “It’s ahhh. It’s bad timing on my part as well.”

 _Oh_ , Armin thought. Well, if Jean had a confession too, then perhaps he’d be willing to share it first. Feeling a bit of relief at the thought of putting the confession on hold, Armin finally turned his face to look up at Jean.

“You-you first then,” the blonde encouraged.

“Wh-what!?” Jean sputtered, moving his arm a bit to sneak a peek down at Armin. “N-No,” he stuttered. “You said you had a confession first, so...”

Armin smiled nervously, hands coming up defensively, “M-mine isn’t nearly as important.” He swallowed. “I’m sure.”

Jean chuckled and finally dropped his arm to look at Armin properly. His face was completely red, his expression alike the one Armin always saw before they sat their exams. “How about at the same time?”

“That seems silly,” Armin laughed, smile growing wide. “Reminds me of freshman year whenever you and Eren got into arguments.”

Jean smiled crookedly, the look of utter nervousness fading into something soft. With the tall boy’s gaze now lingering on Armin, he asked, “How about it then?” 

Armin hummed, nodding his head. “Alright,” he agreed. “It seems like the only fair way to go about it.”

“On three then,” Jean decided rather quickly. “One, two, three-”

With a giddy heart and nerves still eating away at him, Armin drew a big breath and- 

“I like you!”

“I _really_ like you, Jean!” 

Without missing a beat, they both stopped immediately to gape at one another in complete shock.

“Wha-What!?” Jean blurted, eyes bulging, eyebrows raised beyond his bangs and mouth dropping to the sandy floor.

“Pardon!?” Armin yelped, voice going up an octave. He took a step back, his hands flying up to the height of his shoulders to add to the affect; completely stunned over the surprisingly mutual confession.

“Wai-wait. You like me!?” Jean sputtered.

“And you like me!?” Armin exclaimed. “Since when!?” 

“N-no. Never mind that.” Jean shook his head vigorously. “Since when did _you_ like _me_?”

“Ahh,” Armin hesitated, voice growing bashful. He lowered his arms, allowing them to hang loosely at his sides. He peeled his blue eyes off Jean, finding the sand much more interesting. “A long while now.” 

“Really?” Jean asked, clearly sounding shocked. 

“Yes,” Armin mumbled. “Perhaps three years or so...” 

“Wow,” the taller boy sighed breathlessly. Armin could feel rather than see Jean lifting his hands towards him, but he lowered them again rather quickly.

“I’ll- okay yeah. I’ll admit that I’ve liked you for a few years now too,” Jean confessed. “But. Like. I um. I always thought you weren’t interested in anyone. So, I didn’t want to bug you and like, set my interests on other people.”

Armin raised his head back up then, finding the revelation unbelievable. After all this time he always thought perhaps he was being a bit too obvious. That maybe, just maybe, Jean knew of his blushes and could hear his pounding heart whenever they got too close and assumed Jean never acted upon it simply because he didn’t feel the same way. Now everything seemed so confusing and different, and so stupid. Like his worries and pining had all been for nothing.

“I assumed you’d never like me back in that manner because you were always dating and flirting with others and-” Armin paused, the memory still hurting a little, “I thought perhaps you were straight until what happened with Eren at Marco’s party.”

Jean groaned then, right hand coming up to rub at his forehead. “Eren was an accident,” he muttered. “I was expecting you to come to the party. You see, I was going to confess to you back then. Marco had talked me into it, you know. And yeah, I was a little more than just _disappointed_ when you never showed up. Shit happened afterwards and it all ended in the wrong way.” With another grumble, he quickly added, “Do you know how much crap Eren gave me when he found out I liked you?” 

“Hold on,” Armin held up one hand, the other cupping his mouth. 

If he remembered correctly Jean was pretty adamant for him to attend that party. Armin never attended any of the high school parties simply because it wasn’t his kind of scene. Considering it was a year and a half ago, back then he’d have been a lot more serious about gaining his scholarship. Thus, he avoided them even more. Although, he had agreed to go simply because it was Marco’s party. Marco was sweet and he knew it wasn’t going to be like a regular party. It was only going to be their close-knit group and a couple of mutual friends, which was why he had initially agreed. Unfortunately his grandfather needed help with something last minute and he wasn’t able to attend the party in the end. Even Mikasa and Eren had been sad over him not being able to go.

“Oh my god,” he whispered. Jean would have confessed. He would have potentially been in a relationship should he have attended that party. “I’m so sorry.”

“No, it’s okay, Armin. You couldn’t help it. You know, I tried being a little more than subtle since then. Clearly I wasn’t coming on strong enough after the party,” Jean smiled crookedly, hand now cupped at the back of his neck. 

Armin released a relieved giggle, dropping his hand to beam a vibrant smile. “That’s surprising considering you’re not usually discreet in any way.” 

Jean laughed. “Damn, I should have been more obvious then. Guess it was the nerves since…I didn’t know your preferences or if you’d ever like me in the same way.”

“But, I-I do,” Armin affirmed. “A lot,” he breathed, taking a step closer to Jean after they had moved apart with their excitement. 

Jean smiled then. A genuine smile with the corner of his eyes crinkled and his gaze soft, the moon lighting his face in almost a dream-like manner. It made Armin’s heart stutter, his own expression matching the taller boy’s.

“I’m glad,” Jean whispered, his eyes filled with something Armin had never seen before.

They fell into a comfortable quiet, Jean reaching out both arms to run his fingers down along the sides of both of Armin’s arms until he found the palm of the blonde boy’s hands. The light touch caused Armin to shiver, finding them to be soft and a little ticklish as Jean wiggled them. Armin giggled quietly, even as Jean continued downwards until their fingers linked. 

They were far away from the others. The fire pit a speckle in the background. They could hear the faint sounds of laughter and the wind pushing the smell of smoke towards them. The ocean still lapped at their feet every now and then, sinking them ever so slowly into the wet sand. The world seemed to become a blur. The only things existing were them. Jean’s gentle breath fanning over Armin’s face, his jaw slacked in awe as light hazel eyes looked on longingly with the moon lighting his face in all the right ways. The feel of Jean’s warm fingers threaded gently between Armin’s own and how his thumbs rubbed the sides of his palms. Armin licked his lips, Jean’s eyes following the movement. The taller boy leaned in a little closer when Armin bit his lip.

“Can,” Jean started, breaking their trance. “Can I kiss you, Armin?” 

Armin sucked in a breath of air. His body warming, his heart hammering, his stomach bubbling and ready to burst with giddiness.

“S-sure,” he whispered shyly.

Jean leaned down, closing the distance between them. With a final push, their lips met tentatively, melting together in the lightest kiss. However, the same could not be said as Armin’s body roared to life, a wave of heat and emotions crashing over him, along with the sounds of the waves beside them.

Armin pushed himself up, easing the need for Jean to lean down as they deepened the kiss. Their lips moulded and pressed harder as the water and sea foam flowed over their feet, sinking them deeper and deeper into the wet sand as their lips grew more confident. Jean moved them ever so slightly, kissing Armin a little longer each time before pulling back fully. 

The blonde panted heavily, lips open, blue eyes staring straight into hazel coloured ones. Eyes then trailing to red lips, focusing on a tongue dashing out to wet them, and wondering if Jean could taste him on his lips. 

Armin couldn’t believe it. 

He just kissed those. Those red, gleaming lips had been pressed against his own. For years he yearned, ached to know what they felt like. It had all happened in a split second. Why had it been all so quick? He needed another one. He needed to feel them again. He needed to make sure this wasn’t just a dream and Jean really did feel the same way.

“Can I kiss you again?” Armin asked, a little surprised with how deep his voice sounded.

“Fuck,” Jean cussed. He let go of one of Armin’s hands, coming up to run long fingers along his jaw and up behind his ear to thread into short blonde strands. “Please.”

Armin shifted up, meeting Jean’s lips halfway in a wet, open mouth kiss. Jean tilted his head, letting go of the other hand to cup behind the shorter boy’s head to bring him closer. The blonde followed the taller boy’s actions, gripping at his broad shoulders. Armin pressed his entire being as close as he could into Jean, causing the taller boy to break away for a split second, mouth opening to breath Armin’s name into his wet lips. The blonde felt like he was melting. Melting into Jean and into the earth as his body caught on fire. Even more so when he felt a slippery tip nudge at the seam of his lips. 

Jean asked to enter his mouth and it all but made him shudder. Armin knew he was going to be slobbery and probably not nearly as a good kisser as Jean was proving to be. But, he followed the taller boy’s lead, allowing Jean into his mouth. 

Armin gasped, pressing impossibly closer as Jean trailed his bottom lip with a wet tongue. He moaned as the taller boy continued to lick his tongue and the roof of the mouth. He tried his luck and played along with Jean, earning him a deep, throaty moan from the boy. 

Armin’s mind spun in circles, the water, the sand, and the sky all spinning as if he was on a teacup at the local amusement park. Everything was blurry and everything was Jean and Jean only. 

The smell of sunblock, sea water and firewood, the taste of lips so savoury, Armin thought he could lick them up for years to come. The feel of fingertips soothingly scratching at his scalp, the puffs of air fanning against his cheek and wet chin as Jean breathed furiously, and the warmth. The warmth of Jean’s body covering his already burning being; enveloping him in a comfortable haven that he tried to grasp more of. 

Armin pushed again, only to gasp when he felt something hard pressing against his stomach, his mind reeling wildly at knowing what he was doing to Jean and just how much Jean shared his feelings and wants, and needs. The taller boy choked too, guiding the kiss to slow down until they kissed deeply one last time before breaking away. The taller boy rested his forehead against Armin’s as they panted, trying to ease their breathing and slow their impossibly fast beating hearts. 

As they quietened down, Jean stood up a little more, a silent cry that his back was sore from bending over for so long. Feeling guilty for being so short, Armin allowed him to as Jean slivered his hands away from the blonde hair only to wrap long arms around Armin, resting them on the shorter boy’s shoulders. Armin sneaked his own around the taller’s waist, holding tightly, digging his cheek into the broad chest and taking in the smell of firewood. The blonde felt a light kiss being pressed into the crown of his head before the warm breath stirred his hair, causing goosebumps to cover his arms. Armin gripped just a little tighter, not wanting to let go of the tall boy anytime soon. 

“I’ve wanted to kiss you for so long,” Jean confessed hoarsely. “I really do like you, Armin.” 

Armin hummed, eyes feeling heavy as he listened to Jean’s heart slowly become steady. 

“Me too.” 

They held onto each other for what felt like hours. Time ticked away slowly as Armin held onto every thought, feeling, and sound. He didn’t want this moment to ever end. He didn’t feel like returning back to the fire pit and pretend he didn’t just confess three years worth of pent up love. And suddenly, he didn’t feel like acknowledging the fact that they’d be ripped apart come Monday. 

“It really is awful timing,” Armin mumbled sadly into Jean’s shirt. Jean held him that much closer, rearranging his arms to squeeze at Armin’s shoulders. 

“Hey-hey now, it can’t be helped,” Jean reasoned. “We’ve spent how long not knowing in the first place, yeah? We’ll make it work somehow.”

Armin nodded, his chest throbbing painfully and his throat closing up. It was bittersweet and it was sadly his mistake. He had all the time in the world before and he left it too late. Armin was aware that he was going to have to deal with the consequences. However, as sad as it was going to be, Jean was right. They could make this work. Through texting and online messaging. There were endless possibilities for them. Plus, November wasn’t too far away. Not really. Considering how busy he was surely going to be, time would fly and before he knew it, he’d be in these arms again. 

“Okay,” Armin murmured, eyes slowly falling shut as he listened on to the steady beating heart and the waves crashing around them. 

He felt so utterly relaxed, he thought he could possibly fall asleep standing there. With being sun burnt and having spent an entire day swimming and playing in the heat, the comfortable warmth and enticing smell of Jean felt like a good enough spot. 

Unfortunately he was drawn back to reality when the body under him groaned. Armin hummed in question, still not opening his eyes. 

“Yeager’s heading this way,” Jean replied. 

Armin’s eyes flew open immediately, leaning back to look at the tall boy. “What?” 

“Still far away, don’t worry,” Jean chuckled, nodding towards the direction. 

Armin twisted his body to look behind himself. As Jean stated, Eren was still far away, although he was nearing them at an immaculate speed as he stomped all the way, darkened sanding flying all around him. 

Eren came to a halt then, obviously having noticed Armin too. Or at least, that’s what the blonde assumed until a barely lit Mikasa came up to him, grabbing his arm. They continued to talk, Eren clearly having a mixture of worry and anger written all over his body language. Mikasa on the other hand was smiling, laughing, and seemingly trying to get Eren to turn around. 

“I guess that’s our sign it’s time to head back,” Jean said. “I can see the guys packing up in the distance.” 

“I suppose you’re right,” Armin agreed reluctantly. “Wouldn’t be a smart idea to stay here all night.”

They peeled apart from each other, suddenly a little bashful again now that the adrenaline had eased away. Without another word, they began walking towards Eren and Mikasa. Of course, they couldn’t help but sneak glances every now and then, as well as Jean extending his armin to rub at Armin’s back soothingly. 

“Where have you two been!? I thought you’d ditch us!” Eren exclaimed once they neared. 

“Ahhh,” Armin stammered. “I felt a little sick from the fire, so Jean and I went for a walk,” he explained. 

“You guys went pretty far, if you ask me,” Eren grumbled, shooting a glare at Jean.

Jean snorted, shrugging his shoulders once they passed. “Can’t worry too much anymore, Yeager. Armin’s going to be miles away next week.”

“Yeah, and neither can you,” Eren sneered. They continued to bicker as they all walked back to the fire pit. 

Mikasa shook her head, taking a step back to fall in line with Armin as the other two walked on ahead. 

“Did you tell him?” Mikasa whispered, arm coming to grip onto Armin’s far shoulder as she leaned in. 

Armin blushed, a smile on his lips. “I did.” He nudged his shoulder against Mikasa’s before adding on. “And can you believe it? It’s mutual!” He extended his arms, showing his relief and excitement. 

Mikasa smiled softly before replying, “That’s great, Armin.” 

Armin laughed, his own arm coming up to wrap around Mikasa’s waist. She giggled quietly alongside him, swaying with each step in the uneven sand. 

“Did you know, at all? Jean said that Eren knew about his feelings.”

“No, he didn’t tell me. Not even Eren, actually. But…” She paused, no doubt mulling over how to say it. “I saw the way he looked at you when you didn’t notice.”

“He’s been looking at me?” Armin gasped. 

“Sometimes. Annie pointed it out too. It was obvious once we realised the first time.”

“I feel so stupid!” he whined. “No wonder you kept encouraging me to confess! All this wasted time and-”

"Armin." 

He stopped his bemoaning immediately when he recognised her tone. "Don't be irrational. You should be excited. Now that you know, there's nothing but good things ahead."

“I guess you’re right,” he begrudgingly agreed. “The semester is going to feel so long now.”

Mikasa smiled. “It’ll be something extra special to come home to, don’t you think?” 

Mikasa had a point, Armin reasoned. In all his years pining, he well and truly did not think Jean would ever reciprocate his feelings. And yet, he did. For that, Armin was incredibly thankful. It hadn’t been what he planned nor could ever have imagined to have happened. But it did, and now, with a heart giddy and excited for all the new things they could open up about and experience together, he was looking forward to what was to come. 

Jean must have felt the same way as his eyes lingered on Armin the entire time they helped pack up the mess everyone made. Even as far as gazing at him as everyone said their goodbyes with hugs and laughter and promises of annoying each other on discord until they all separated. Connie, Sasha, Ymir, and Christa off into one car. Annie, Reiner and Bert in another. And the rest of them squished into Jean’s car. Armin yet again having the luxury of sitting in the passenger seat up front as he lived the farthest away. 

Chatter filled the car, all of them roaring above the gentle drum of Jean’s everplaying spotify playlist. One by one Jean dropped off Mikasa and Eren until he gently pulled to a stop in front of Armin’s house. The lights were all off except for a singular porch light for Armin to find his way indoors without a fuss. 

Armin stared reluctantly at the light, hands clasped together on his lap. He didn’t want to leave just yet without another kiss. He also wanted to stay and talk for a little bit longer and enjoy the last few moments alone with Jean before they’d be ripped apart until November. 

“Hey Armin,” Jean murmured, a warm hand sliding over Armin’s to cup his clasped ones. Armin fixed his gaze on Jean who wore a soft smile, the street lights colouring his face in a faint orange hue. “I really did mean everything tonight.”

Armin smiled at that, unclasping his hands so he could hold the one Jean had offered. “I know. Likewise for me.”

Jean chuckled then, eyes moving downwards to their darkened hands on the blonde’s lap. Armin followed his line of sight, his cheeks reddened as he watched their fingers thread together. Jean’s hand was a lot bigger than his and a lot warmer than what he expected. It was rough, considering the kind of things he did outside of school, but nice nonetheless. 

“So…” Jean started quietly, his voice a little choked up. “Does this mean we can officially start dating?” 

_What a silly question,_ Armin had thought. Of course he’d happily agree. Now that he knew Jean held the same feelings, nothing was going to stop the blonde from becoming the taller boy’s boyfriend. 

Armin looked at Jean and nodded, his smile broad. “If you’ll have me. Distance and all included.”

Jean’s lips spread into a beaming smile, showing off his straight white teeth. 

“Good. I wouldn’t want it any other way either, even if it’s going to be hard.” 

“Same,” Armin agreed, his chest feeling so light and airy, his stomach filled with butterflies. “It’s like you said, we waited this long in silence.”

The taller boy nodded. “It’s kind of sad though. I won’t be able to kiss you or hold your hand anytime soon again.” 

Armin gripped Jean’s hand tighter at that, trying to squash the sadness that came with what the taller boy said. His smile wavered a little bit before he truly shoved any bit of bitterness away. He didn’t want to put any sourness on such a great day.

“We’ll just have to save it all up for November,” Armin replied. “Meet up as much as we can when I’m back.” 

Jean hummed, his free hand coming up to run warm fingers along Armin’s jaw. “Maybe even stay at each other’s place for the night, if you wanted.” 

Armin sucked in a breath at that, the giddiness turning hot in his belly at what Jean was instigating. He couldn’t help but bite his lip, eyelids growing heavy as he nodded silently at the ash-blonde’s words. 

“We could,” Armin breathed, blue eyes taking in every part of Jean’s handsome face for the last time. 

The streetlamps coloured his face beautifully, sculpting his thick eyebrows, nose, and that strong jaw. Light bounced off those wet, plump lips, reeling Armin in to slowly lean closer to the taller boy. 

“One last kiss?” Armin asked quietly, eyes meeting Jean’s longingly.

“Thought you’d never ask,” Jean replied, his own stare heavy and intense.

Armin leaned further to the side, aiding Jean as their lips met lightly. It was sweet and dream-like. A kiss that the blonde would never forget, alongside their first ever shared one on the beach. 

It was yet another moment that’d be forever added to his precious memories. The smell and taste of Jean. The feel of his warm fingertips and soft lips. The drum of guitar music playing in the background. The way his heart was beating so quickly, it was like he was running a marathon. A marathon he wanted to run for the rest of his life, if it meant the feeling wouldn’t ever go away. It was all so sweet and wonderful. He felt so fulfilled and loved and relieved, even as sadness bit at the corners of his heart. 

Armin didn’t know what the future had planned. He wouldn’t ever. But he hoped. He hoped and wished and prayed that it would entail their blooming sweet relationship to strive through all the hardships that would come ahead. He would fight for it, full-heartedly. 

Now that he had Jean in his arms, he wasn’t ever going to let go. Not without knowing that Jean felt the same way. Even if there should come a day when the other no longer felt the same spark, as painful as it would be, Armin would let him go. 

However, the blonde doubted it would ever end. If they pined this long for each other, then that alone said good things about their perseverance and feelings for each other. Armin could only wish upon things being easier. For life not to throw too many lemons and aid them in their relationship lasting as they enter a new chapter in their lives. 

For, Armin had spent too many years wishing for this. He wasn’t going to give it up willingly. Even if it meant a three hour flight and four years of separation. Jean was worth it. The years of crushing and falling in love were delightful. He could now only imagine the real deal being far better, even if their circumstances weren't ideal. But, he had faith. 

As Jean deepened the kiss, Armin couldn’t help but smile against his lips, knowing full well that Jean had just as much faith and love in him. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!
> 
> I wish I conveyed Armin's nervousness a lot more! Also wanted to add a lot more details about their looks and surroundings and all of that. But, as I said, I wrote this last year and I wanted it to be a reminder to myself for how much I've grown as a writer since then. 
> 
> Perhaps next year I'll write one from the beginning. These boys deserve so much more love, and so many more stories.


End file.
